Honesty - Why Honesty is the Best Policy

Have you ever wondered why honesty is the best policy? And, how do you navigate teaching children to be honest yet kind?

As a parent, you are the primary influencer in shaping your child's character.

By instilling values such as honesty, kindness, responsibility, and more, you are laying the foundation for their future.

Familiarise

Start by familiarizing them with specific values words, as they are the building blocks of a solid moral compass.

Secondly, and most importantly, your child needs to see the behaviour role modelled to them.

Role modelling the values you strive to teach your children is not just a suggestion but a crucial responsibility.

It may be challenging at times, but it is possible.

What's important

While honesty is the best policy most of the time, kindness is equally essential, if not more - especially for other children.

Help your child understand kindness can be shown through tactfulness while also being honest. Further, it's a lifelong skill that constantly improves.

When discussing the importance of honesty, it's timely to examine its consequences: trust and trustworthiness.

Meanwhile, crucially, you'll also need to explain that the only time to not be honest, for the time being, is when a surprise is in the planning, for example, something that will make someone happy.

While talking to your child about honesty, take the opportunity to speak to your child about the difference between surprises and secrets. Tell them that surprises involve telling little 'white lies' until the surprise happens, such as a surprise birthday party or present.

Secrets

Secrets are a whole new ball game. Being honest with your child about adults who ask them to keep secrets can be life-altering. As a parent, this is when honesty is the best policy.

Let your child know that some adults are not trustworthy and that sometimes it's people we like and trust.

Speak to them about letting you know if someone tells them to keep a secret, especially when it involves touching their body.

Inform your child that people who want them to keep secrets might involve knowing personal information (online) or touching their body (offline).

Ask them to let you know if being around someone makes them feel funny in the tummy - online or in person.

Prepare your child by letting them know that sometimes people who want them to keep secrets from you might even say that if your child doesn't keep the secret, they will hurt you, a sibling, or someone else they love.

It's OK

Let them know it's OK to not be honest in a situation where they don't feel comfortable and scared.

I once heard of a family that frequently reminded their children that their family doesn't keep secrets from each other.

Reinforce to your child to let you know if someone, anyone, asks your child to keep a secret, it's because they might have different values to their family, and as a parent, you're there to help guide and protect them at every stage until they become an adult.

Children with a solid ethical foundation are more likely to express this confidently and strongly to others.

It may give a deceitful person second thoughts about what they had intended to say, show or do to your child. Unfortunately, we live in a world where your child has many external influences, both online and offline.

Raising an honest child promotes open communication, allowing you to guide them through their feelings and behaviours early on, addressing issues and avoiding misunderstandings.

And again

The more you speak to your child about what's appropriate and not suitable to be honest about and with whom, the more confident they will be in knowing what's right and wrong. They'll also feel safer knowing they can be open with you.

More than one conversation is required. Regularly check in with your child, especially after being cared for by someone new like a babysitter or family friend. Continually remind them that you're their safety net.

When it comes to loving your child and helping them feel safe, there is no such thing as too much love or wanting them to feel too secure.

As always, there's balance and moderation.